Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Waiting for a Rainbow

Be aware that I am totally in a rough place tonight as I write this. Feeling scared and overwhelmed and sad. I know that God has called us to ‎"do not be anxious about anything; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6-7 but today I am struggling with that. I went back to the workman's comp doctor yesterday, he has allowed me to go back to work! PRaise God for that! I am so grateful. There are some pretty significant restrictions which I don't know if my particular job will be able to accomodate, so I have a lot to think about there... but know that God's plan is the best plan.
Secondly due to some funky inflammation that I have in my eye, and the inflammation that I had in my SI joint the doctor is now wondering if I have some kind of auto immune disorder. THIS is where I am totally freaking out inside. I don't have time to be sick, to slow down, or focus on something else. My plate is so full and just the thought of adding more is just completely overwhelming me.
A wonderfully sweet sister in Christ said to me today that when she had been sick and had gone to her Pastor of her church and made the typical comment that so often many of us use "God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but He is giving me too much." Her Pastor then corrected her and said that "God doesn't give us more than HE can handle!!!" This has been so grounding for me today. And although I am so aware of God's awesome power and work in our lives, when something new is thrown into the mix, I forget that God has been handling everything and has been carrying me through the whole time. I never have been in charge of this, I never have been the one juggling all of the things going on in our lives. I never have had to walk alone, and most importantly I have NEVER been given too much that HE can't handle. So as I walk in this, He is giving me peace, I just have to keep making the right choices to give it all to Him.
Sam and I went back to children's today for his treatment. It has been so nice not having to drive into the city, but it was wonderful today to see some wonderful friends/nurses etc that we have grown to love over the last several years that we have been going there. My mom was able to come with us today which was such a blessing. She is so calming for me, especially when they struggle to get his line in, as they did today. Hard to believe that we started doing this when he was 13months old!!! There is a possibility of us being able to continue his treatment out here, can you please pray that God opens the door to where He wants us to be and closes the door he doesnt. Here is a pic of Sam's first treatment, and the second pic is just one from playing the other day:-)

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