Good news and not so good news

Yesterday when I woke up I noticed that the liver pain that I had been having was significantly worse. It continued to get worse and worse, almost to the point of tears. I called the doctor and they told me to come right in. So we went down to Worcestor and they put me on the monitor and did blood tests and urine tests. My liver tests are getting better and better, one of them was completely normal and one of them was almost normal. So that is good news. My kidney function tests are back to normal, and my platelets are back to normal. I still have protein in my urine and they don't know why. So so many things are better, but the bad news is no one has a clue of what is wrong. Mom has talked to several other people and everyone recommends Brigham and Womens because I guess they are the best for high risk pregnancies in the state. SO maybe we will look into that. I am just so happy that I am still pregnant and that Sophia is doing well. I so want to go to term and deliver a FAT baby:) I want my regular doctor to deliver me, I don't want to be at some high risk hospital, where everyone knows my CASE but not my name. So please pray for taht. Here are some pictures of my big boy who thinks he can sit at the big table now

Snow baby

Well it is still WINTER!!! I am tired of it, although if it was beautiful outside it would be a lot harder to sit on the couch or lay in bed. This bedrest thing is really getting old. Thankfully I have had friends and family coming over every day taking care of Sammy and I. People have been bringing meals, and helping with housework and taking care of us. I am so bored and frustrated with all of this. Mom was over for the day today. Thank goodness for Meme's, she took my little bug outside to play and he loved it, like father liek son.:) My friend Sara was also over so she took pictures for me (and you to see)

I am doing okay although more frustrated by the day. The doctor's still don't really have a clue as to what is going on. I am still waiting for more lab results to come back. My wonderful regular doctor called last night to check and see how I was. She is so great, to take time jsut to check on us. I told her my most recent lab results and she was impressed/surprised at them, so that is good. She also eased my mind and explained some of the other tests that they are doing. Well that is about all for now. I will keep you posted, since I can't do anything but sit aroudn anyways:) This is getting really old, anybody know anything fun to do when you can't get out of bed, you have a headache, and you would rather be crawling aroudn on the floor with your son?

High risk OB update

Well today I saw the high risk OB doctors again. They are still unsure of exactly what is going on and did some more very different blood tests. The blood tests that they did on sunday are not back yet, so we don't have any of those answers. They redrew the liver tests and some are worse and some are better. They still think I will deliver early, the doctor said "Well at least if you have to deliver tomorrow your baby already has the steroids." It is just hard for this to be such a waiting game with so many unknowns. So here I sit, frustrated and wishing that I could not be on bedrest, wishing that I didn't have to find people to care for Sammy and I. And praying tath I will get to have this baby at 36 or more weeks.

Auto Immune disorder

Well now the doctors are thinking that I may have some type of autoimmune disorder but they are not sure which one. They are doing all sorts of weird testing to check and see different levels of stuff in my blood, checking the liver blood vessels, and a variety of other things. They think I do have HELLP and Preeclampsia but now probably something else too:( I am so frustrated and annoyed with this whole situation. This pregnancy has been so much better than with Sam and I have been feeling so good. So to be back in this situation is so frustrating. I just really wanted to have the NORMAL labor and delivery and be able to hold my baby when she is born, to be able to keep her with me in the room, to not have IVs and monitors and feeding tubes, all of which at this stage of the game will be what she will have. I really want to deliver at the local hospital and have my regular doctor. I don't want to deliver with all these specialists, basically waiting for me to get critical and then have this obstetrical emergency delivery. Sorry for the venting.

Please continue to pray, and now I am really starting to have a bad attitude. I am frustrated and discouraged, disappointed and sad.

They let me come home for today and I have to go back tomorrow morning. I am on strict bedrest and only supposed to get up to go to the bathroom, not an easy task when you are used to working and chasing after an 18month old. But I am so thankful to be here. Matt's aunt and her mother are here taking care of both of Sammy and I, and they will be here tomorrow with Sam when I go back.

Here is a picture of my loves when they came to visit. Enjoy!

UMass Memorial

Well the doctor had me stay again in the hospital just because my liver enzymes have started to be elevated. So when she rechecked them this morning they had gone up significantly. I am so frustrated. She called UMass and talked to the chief of OB down there (who just so happens to remember me from last time since I was so sick) and they said they wanted me to come down here. SO what a great Valentine's Day. I told MAtt I wanted chocolate covered strawberries from Edible Arrangements and instead I got a ride in an ambulance and a whole bunch of specialists doing all kinds of stuff to me.
They have decided that I do have Pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome again. I just basically am a ticking time bomb according to them. If I was further along they would just deliver Sophia now but because I am only 30.6 weeks she needs to grow for as long as possible. SO the goal is to do this balancing act waiting as long as possible, and letting me get sick until they have to take her to keep us both safe. I am just hoping to make it a few more weeks. They are hoping I make it until Saturday, because that will give the steroids enough time to work to help develop her lungs. PLEASE JUST PRAY!!!! for all of us, for wisdom for the doctors for my and Sophia's health, for Matt and Sam, for our finances.

YUCK

Well officially I am sick! Unfortunately I have picked up some silly bug that has caused me to have diarrhea and vomitting. I am just praying that Sammy and Matt don't get it. I spent a good part of the day at the doctors office getting IV fluid and I still couldn't go to the bathroom so now I have to go and stay at the hospital for more IV fluids. So that is the story on this end. The good thing is that I am NOT contracting. So please pray:)

Cute pictures

Denise and I tried to get some pictures taken of the kids. Dasanee had an attitude as you can see, and Sam was nervous for some reason, it took quite a lot to get him to smile but at least he finally did:) If you could have seen Dasanee, saying "Hmmm" and crossing her arms with a scowl, this picture is her Exactly!!!

Almost 30wks!!

Well we have had a busy week as usual. But it has been a good week. Sammy's transfusion went well, they only had to try to attempt the IV twice which was much better than the eight times that it took last time. Even everyone there was anxious. But it went well.
I had my doctors appointment yesterday and everything is looking good on that front too. I had another negative fetal fibrinectin test. That buys another nine days. So I will at least be 30+weeks. My cervix is coming forward a lot more, but hopefully that means nothing. It hasn't opened anymore. I am feeling so much better, I think slowing down and not trying to do absolutely everything and asking for more help has been extremely beneficial.
I miss working with the twins but I think for the sake of this baby it has been a good change. I am hoping to see them soon though. The hospital has been crazy which has started the contractions coming stronger at times, but the night time supervisors have been really good in coming to help and let me rest if needed. So all in all we are so blessed:)

Boo boo baby:(

My poor little guy is so busy it seems like every day he falls and hurst something. WEll today was awful. He was running and tripped on the threshhold coming into my room. He had blood coming from both nostrils and his mouth. It was so pitiful. He cried for like 30 seconds, I on the other hand got emotional everytime I looked at him. He was happy to get a popsicle though.:)

I am feeling okay, the medicine seems to slow the contractions down, they are definitely not as frequent although they seem to be a little bit longer. Everyone says some prayers please as Sammy gets his next transfusion on tuesday. I am anxious as they had such a hard time getting the IV in last time.

A better day

Well after waiting since yesterday morning for CVS to get my medication I picked it up this afternoon. I took the terbutaline and within about twenty minutes the contractions spaced to about twenty minutes!!! I am so relieved. THe medication makes me feel kind of light headed and makes my heart race but if it keeps my little Sophia inside and cooking for a few more months then it is worth it. I can't believe I am 29wks today!!! This is the exact day taht I went in to labor with Sam and ended up on bedrest. And although these contractions have definitely be scary I am so thankful that BEDREST (strict anyways) has not even been mentioned. I don't think I could deal with that. It is hard enough to try and take it easy with Sam.
He is such a joy to me. He is speaking so much now. I forget how behind he was sometimes. He is starting to say two to three words at a time, and is saying longer words such as noodle, outside, apple, and honey.

Contractions

Aaaagggghhh!!!! Do you ever feel like just yelling and losing your temper? That is where I am right now. I am so incredibly stressed and frustrated. I have been contracting off and on and keeping in contact with the doctor. Well monday night I couldn't sleep and was in tears as the contractions were so uncomfortable. Then tuesday morning when I woke up they were better, I had to check in with the doctor anyways, and so once I had spoken with her and let her know that I really just wanted to stay home, she said to check in a little while later. So when I called back I was contracting a little more frequently but not as intense. But she had me come up to the hospital and when they put me on the monitor the contractions were 2 to 5 minutes apart!!! I couldn't believe it. I kind of feel stupid as I was thinking they were about eight minutes apart. So anyways they gave me terbutaline to stop them and IV and stuff like that. I stayed for like six hours or so and then begged to go home. I had another negative fetal fibrinectin test, which is supposedly 98% accurate that I won't deliver in the next 9 days, but the doctor reminded me that if my body continues to contract that things can change and we could get a positive fetal fibrinectin.

SO I am so frustrated. I know I need to stop working but I can't becuase I need to have health insurance and food and to pay my mortgage. It is just so hard. I feel like keeping the schedule that I am keeping is jeopardizing the health of this baby and I feel like I have no other option. What do I do? Thankfully we have people willing to help take care of Sam or do other things for me, but it is hard to have to ask. Matt's aunt came over and reorganized Sam;s whole room and went through all the newborn stuff and put all of that away for me, which is a relief to have taht done. It is one less thing to stress over, and it is marking something off what seems like an endless list for me.

Sorry for the complaining, just completely stressed out at the moment. I know God is in control and that He will provide but it is just hard not knowing how. Here are some cute pictures of my little guy, who has taken to blinking although of course I couldn't capture it on film:)

My snow baby

Long overdue post

Do you every just feel discouraged and frustrated? That is where I am now. I started having contractions this weekend, but thought it was no big deal, as I had had a really busy weekend at work. SO I just took it easy and rested as much as I could (although quite difficult with a 1 1/2 year old) Anyways sunday night the pain got much worse but I decided to take a bath and then go to bed and hope that it was just muscles strecthing. It seemed a little better after I took a bath so I just went to bed. I called the doctor yesterday morning and they didn't even want me to come into the office they sent me right up to labor and delivery where they put me on the monitor. I felt some little cramps here and there but didn't think it was that big of a deal. Well when they put me on the moniter I was contracting every 8-14minutes!!! I wasn't even feeling all of them! THe good thing is the baby looked good but the bad thing is it is way to early to start contracting like this. THey did a test that said about 95% accurate that I won't deliver within the next two weeks, which would bring me to almost 30wks but that is way too early too. I am just so frustrated. I don't have the option to stop working or taking care of Sam, or stopping doing the house work and errands, but if I don't am I jeopardizing this baby? Am I risking having another preemie? Am I risking having more health issues for both of us? Sorry for the complaining just feeling pretty frustrated and disappointed that we are going through this. It always feels like there is something. HEre are some cute pictures of my boy with his "Papa" as Sam likes to call Matt's dad.

Thankful for answered prayers

We FINALLY heard back from the doctor today. Well actually I called and was a pest, but I couldn't wait any longer. So I spoke directly with the hematologist who said that he does not have leukemia!!! Thank you GOD! Anyways she is not quite sure why his blood work levels are abnormal, but they don't think that it is something on their end of things. Then today we saw the immunologist, who stated his concerns over a certain part of his white blood cells being chronically low and he is going to talk to the hematologist himself. I also asked him if there was any other options as far as Sammy's transfusions go. He was opposed to any sort of permanent access due to the risk of infection, but he did mention giving the gammaglobulin the same type of way that diabetics give their insulin. The good thing about this would be that it would be something we could do at home, but the bad things would be that I would be the one sticking him with needles, and that it would be weekly instead of monthly. So I am not sure what will happen on that end of things. It is a little strange to think of me and our home being MEDICAL place for Sam. I don't think I want him to correlate that stuff with here. Hopefully the doctor will come up with a better option.

STill waiting

Well we had our IVIG transfusion today. It was quite a rough experienc today. For some reason they had a really tough time getting the IV in. It took seven or eight tries. They had to call in the special IV team and even the first person from that that came couldn't get the Iv in. Sammy took it like a trooper but it is stil miserable to let people pick and prod at your kid. WE still have not heard anything from the hematologist, but I plan on calling them tomorrow.

We also had made plans to take a family picture yesterday since DJ and Dennis are still home. Do you know how hard it is to get everyone to look? Especially 3 little kids?